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(this is where you find out if you might be a fucking idiot)
April 2006: Alright already. Some people need an explanation of the terminology, so they're not SO offended. My idea of a "Fucking Idiot" is someone who is clearly lacking in any noticeable amount of common sense. If you're offended by that, consider yourself smarter than most of the Fucking Idiots who are too stupid to realize they're being talked about here. Why it even matters to you that I think this way is beyond me. Sheesh
Being human beings, we all do some stupid things. All of us. However, there are some things that go beyond simple, innocent boneheadedness. These would be the stupid things that were done after a conscious decision was made beforehand. You may consider yourself to be a Fucking Idiot (by my rules....my blog, remember?) if you actively engage in any of the behaviors that follow......
If you want to suggest something for 'fucking idiot' behavior, gimme a shout. I'll give you proper credit.
You litter. Are you really that lazy? Is it gonna kill you to keep your trash in your car until you get home? Will you be THAT burdened to keep your Hostess Fruit Pie wrapper in your fucking pocket until you can find a trash barrel? Worse yet, do you really have that much of a disregard for yourself and your surroundings that you can justify throwing garbage wherever it is convenient for you? You're a loser. Put your cigarette butts in the ashtray. Stop throwing your losing lottery tickets on the sidewalk in front of the store, and try using the barrel that you're probably leaning against.
You're a lottery junkie. Speaking of lottery tickets, do you know how dumb you look buying an arms-length of scratch-off tickets, scratching them all right there in line, then taking your "winners" (I WON TWO DOLLARS! I WON TWO DOLLARS!) and repeating the cycle ad nauseum? Spend your money on food. Spend your money on a magazine and learn something. Give it to me! Go do something. But for Christ's sake, stop holding up the line.
You hold up the line. Please, you've had 5 minutes to look at the menu board. Know what kind of fucking donut you want when it's your turn to order. It's a donut. It's not the most important decision you'll make today. At least I hope not.
You eat donuts and you're fat. Do I believe that fat people should be able to enjoy an occasional fatty snack? Yes I do. But you know what? When we see your fat ass munching on junk food, the rest of us don't take that enjoyment into consideration. Looks to us like you're just a fat-ass eating donuts...again.
OK, maybe it doesn't qualify as being a fucking idiot. Too harsh. But for Christ's sake if you're gonna look like that, you should be more self-conscious. I'm only thinking about you :-)
You rubberneck. No doubt about this one. Does it make any sense at all that an accident on the northbound side should affect southbound traffic? If you're part of the group of shitheads that slows down to look at an accident, you're definitely on the idiot list. What are you hoping to see anyway? Is it worth the traffic jam you're causing? Look straight ahead and drive. Get the fuck out of the way of the grown-ups.
You don't know cell phone etiquette. When you're in a room full of people, even if they're your friends, and your phone rings, excuse yourself and LEAVE THE FUCKING ROOM TO TAKE THE CALL YOU FUCKING MORON! No one wants to hear your conversation about why Billy should've stood up to Margaret, or why you think Todd is being a jerk to his friends. Can you really not understand how rude that is?
You wait in line for hours to buy anything. 'Nuff said.
You kick and scream and punch and act like a fucking animal during the sale you just waited in line to get into early. If you take part in those holiday stampedes, just to save 5 bucks on something that, in the grand scheme of things, is completely unimportant, you really need to take stock of yourself. Is it really worth it? Fighting over a fucking doll?
You're offended by somebody's cartoon. It's a fucking cartoon, dummy. It's ONE PERSON'S take on whatever the subject is. He (or she) has the absolute fucking right to draw whatever makes him happy. If other perople think it's funny, good for him. If you don't like, too fucking bad for you. Don't look at it again. Yes, you have the right to protest and do whatever foolishness you feel is appropriate as long as you don't hurt anybody, but what got you so riled up in the first place...the fact that someone really doesn't like what you like? It makes you that mad that someone has the audacity to be vocal against something YOU believe in? You know what? Go fuck yourself then, you narrow-minded prick.
Keep'em coming, people!
Being human beings, we all do some stupid things. All of us. However, there are some things that go beyond simple, innocent boneheadedness. These would be the stupid things that were done after a conscious decision was made beforehand. You may consider yourself to be a Fucking Idiot (by my rules....my blog, remember?) if you actively engage in any of the behaviors that follow......
If you want to suggest something for 'fucking idiot' behavior, gimme a shout. I'll give you proper credit.
OK, maybe it doesn't qualify as being a fucking idiot. Too harsh. But for Christ's sake if you're gonna look like that, you should be more self-conscious. I'm only thinking about you :-)
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